Daylight Savings Costs Sleeping Beauty More Than An Hour

12 Mar

HOBOKEN, NJ–Sleeping Beauty still has yet to adjust the clocks in her apartment following this past weekend’s end to Daylight Savings Time. Her hesitation stems from several concerns she has over the loss of one hour. Her biggest concern, “Adjusting to a shorter, twenty-three hour day.”

“I’m not so sure it’s a good idea. I mean, why did everyone want to give up an hour? And right before they went to sleep? They could have given it to me. I like extra sleep-time,” said Sleeping Beauty. “Can’t we just, like, wait ’til we’re in line at the DMV, or at a family reunion to adjust our clocks? You’re gonna’ lose an hour or two of your life there anyways.”

“Plus, it’s not just the clocks I’m having to change,” added Sleeping Beauty. “I mean, should I rotate my sundial? It’s made of marble. It’s really heavy. It’d take me an hour just to lift that. And if it landed on my foot, ya’ know, that’s like another hour at the emergency room.”

Sleeping Beauty has an hourglass that she may flip over as a symbolic gesture. She will check to see if she can claim an hour as a loss on her tax return before taking further action. SignOff


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