Beauty, Bubbly, Bubbles And The Beast

19 Jun

ORANGE BEACH, AL–The Beast is recovering from an injury sustained during an unfortunate hot-tubbing accident. It happened this past Saturday as he and his wife, Belle, vacationed at a near by beach house. Upon arrival, Belle nestled into a jacuzzi situated on the deck. She sipped a glass of sparkling white wine. About ten minutes later the Beast came out to join her. He strode out clad in an off-white guest robe, a bottle of Budweiser in hand, and sunglasses perched on his forehead. Undoing the belt of the robe, the Beast shrugged off the terry cloth, exposing himself in the open air. Belle urged him to put on a swimsuit. “What. It’s a tub,” said the Beast. “This is what everyone does. Aren’t you-?” Belle stood up to display her strapless one piece. “Oh, well,” said the Beast. “Scoot over, I’m getting cold.” An understatement, as far as Belle was concerned.

Water spilled out onto the floor as the Beast’s massive body displaced half the water in the hot-tub. Belle hoisted her glass high above her head. “Yup, this feels nice,” said the Beast. “I’m so relaxed…” A large bubble burst to the surface among the effervescent fizz of the jets. Belle held her nose in disgust as the Beast sniffed with satisfaction. “That’s a beaut,” he said.

Belle guessed that the air was clear and resumed breathing. She was wrong. A waft of beefy burrito lingered as the Beast pant from the hot-tub’s heat. The couple had stopped for Mexican food prior to arrival. The Beast often jokes that his wife’s name should be, Taco Belle. It was her favorite food up until that point.

The Beast shifted to adjust the jets’ impact on various parts of his body. His sunglasses toppled over. Leaning forward to look for them, the Beast unwittingly dumped his beer into the water. He set the empty bottle on the lip of the hot-tub. It tumbled off and shattered on the deck. “Just great,” said the Beast. He slipped into the base of the tub to retrieve the sunglasses. A moment later he winced in pain as the fur from a lower extremity became entangled in the intake.

“Shut off the jets! Shut off the jets!” roared the Beast. Belle fumbled at the control panel. The jets increased in intensity. The Beast spouted obscenities. A few more jabs at the panel and the bubbling stopped.

The Beast is expected to experience some soreness. His doctor is recommending plenty of rest until the swelling subsides. With a little luck, the Beast should be fully healed in time for the drive home.



5 Responses to “Beauty, Bubbly, Bubbles And The Beast”

  1. Megan 06/20/2013 at 6:17 pm #

    This one really made me smile. Too funny.

  2. reocochran 06/21/2013 at 1:07 pm #

    What a wild vacation, hot tub accident not too great. I like your imagination!

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