Man In The Moon Contracts Orbital Cellulitis

24 Jun

“There’s something stuck in my eye.”

HONOLULU, HI–The appearance of this past Saturday’s larger than normal lunar display, commonly referred to as the Supermoon, is the result of The Man In The Moon contracting orbital cellulitis. Orbital cellulitis, an acute infection of the area surrounding the eye, can result in inflammation and swelling of the face. Selenologist, and self described lunatic, Harry Howell, suspects that The Man In The Moon’s infection occurred after he was hit in the eye with a rocket ship.

“Yeah, I saw the rocket hit The Man In The Moon square in the eye, and said to him, ‘You know you should really have that looked at. It’s gonna get infected,'” said Mr. Howell. “Sure enough, he’s got a face as large as Uranus. You should see some of the pus oozing out of the craters. It looks like green cottage cheese.”

The whole ordeal has left The Man In The Moon feeling quite ashamed. He hopes to eclipse this particular embarrassment in the future with some unforeseen accomplishment. The Man In The Moon has since received treatment for his infection, and so far the swelling appears to be subsiding. He is expected to be as good as new within a fortnight.



5 Responses to “Man In The Moon Contracts Orbital Cellulitis”

  1. honeydidyouseethat? 06/25/2013 at 1:23 am #

    So, a few years back I was co teaching the sex ed. unit with a teacher from South Carolina who was soo uncomfortable that he urged me to take over. That is until it was time to point out Uranus. He thought it was the funniest thing ever. I know I’m a little off topic, but that’s what your blog reminded me of. 🙂

    • grimmreport 06/26/2013 at 8:55 pm #

      It’s when you have to explain how the rings formed around Uranus that thing really get uncomfortable.

  2. belasbrightideas 06/25/2013 at 4:30 pm #

    You are too much! Such a creative soul 😀

    • grimmreport 06/26/2013 at 8:52 pm #

      We can’t help it. We do what we do, and there ain’t no stopping us!

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