Gingerbread Man to Compete in Triathlon

29 Aug

A Special Report By Grimm Report Chief Competitive Confections Correspondent, Danielle E. Shipley | @deshipley

After taking a lot of heat (375 degrees for 10 – 12 minutes, to be precise) for purportedly sending kids the wrong message about sugary snacks, the Gingerbread Man hopes to sweeten his image by competing in his first triathlon this fall.

While this reporter had no luck catching up with the Gingerbread Man for comment, one of his track and field colleagues was available to help set the record straight.

“Don’t get him wrong,” said Digestivebiscuit, otherwise known as D-biscuit. D-biscuit is the reputed descendent of the champion Thoroughbred racehorse of similar name. “The G-man’s all for a nutritious diet. But he wants to crumble the preconceived notion that nutrition is the end-all for good health. Staying active is just as important, if not more so. He’s in this race to show that even bodies comprised of one-and-a-half parts sugar can be physically fit.”

D-biscuit went on to express the Gingerbread Man’s confidence in his ability to outdistance competitors in the running third of the triple event race, though he added, “There is some concern about how he’ll perform in the swimming portion. He’s been getting some extra coaching by a pretty clever fox, though, so we’ll see how that goes.”



5 Responses to “Gingerbread Man to Compete in Triathlon”

  1. honeydidyouseethat? 08/29/2013 at 11:29 am #

    You guys are too clever.

    • deshipley 08/29/2013 at 12:03 pm #

      We’ve had some coaching with the fox, too. X)

  2. deshipley 08/30/2013 at 11:14 am #

    Reblogged this on Ever On Word and commented:
    Didn’t know I was Chief Competitive Confections Correspondent for the Grimm Report, didja? (: I wear many hats.
    ~ Danielle

  3. burnsmillie 08/30/2013 at 4:10 pm #

    Silly and fun…love it!

    • deshipley 08/30/2013 at 7:17 pm #

      You’re sweet to say so. ^.^ Many thanks!

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