Fanchon’s Farm

21 Sep
Image GettysGirl4260

Image GettysGirl4260

A Special Report By Grimm Report Chief Barnyard Correspondent, R.G. Dole

Fanchon is perhaps one of the vilest, most ill mannered women you will ever have the misfortune to encounter. Her tendency to be as rude and as lazy as humanly possible led to her being cursed to have snakes and toads and other such vile creatures fall from her mouth whenever she made the slightest sound. You think someone like her might just learn to keep her mouth shut, but instead Fanchon has turned this into a booming business. As rare and unknown creatures fell from her mouth, she gathered them up and made little homes for them on a farm her mother owned.

“At first I was as mad as a wet hen. I mean what right does that fairy have to be making me speak a bunch of slimey animals. Just cause my sister has to be a goody two-shoes and give her a drink and I don’t feel like waiting on someone who is obviously too lazy to get it for themselves I get cursed. Ha! Well, I got the last laugh didn’t I?”

This reporter admits to jumping on a chair screaming like a little girl as the scariest things I’ve ever seen suddenly were crawling all over the floor during this speech of hers. In many ways, Fanchon is still not a person you want to have a conversation with, for more than the obvious reason; it was incredible to see the care she has learned to give to the animals she creates with the slightest word. As terrifying as some of them were running free, she has given them all fine homes and helps show the world a variety of reptiles and amphibians that you definitely won’t find in your backyard. So don’t forget to put Fanchon’s Farm on your places-to-visit, though if you prefer prettier sites, you might want to check out her sister’s flower shop. If you’re lucky you might even find a diamond still lodged in a bouquet.



4 Responses to “Fanchon’s Farm”

  1. belasbrightideas 09/22/2013 at 11:47 pm #

    I would LOVE to visit Fanchon’s Farm! If only … 😉

    • grimmreport 09/26/2013 at 8:28 pm #

      Come for the animals. Stay for the conversation. We should warn you though, Fanchon has a lot to say.


  1. Fanchon’s Farm | A drip of Truth - 09/21/2013

    […] Fanchon’s Farm. […]

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