Ghosts’ Spirit Risen With Exercise

25 Oct


AMITYVILLE, NY– Jon and Amanda Nelson rest in peace now that they have learned to exercise their demons on a regular basis. For six months the newlyweds struggled with the fact that their new home was constructed over an ancient burial ground, resulting in the home’s haunting. The couple tried to put the house back up for sale, but found it difficult to contend with a slow market, as well as other new construction in the neighborhood. Since then, the Nelsons have done their best to get along with their unwanted visitors.

The task was daunting given the poltergeists’ ornery disposition. The ghosts had taken to wandering around the hallways covered in bed linens, left the TV on with no one watching, and left a sticky residue allover everything they came in contact with. In short, it was like living with children.

The Nelsons’ big breakthrough occurred after a small word of advice from a medium. “Exercise the ghosts,” she said. So the Nelsons made a trip to Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Their initial offering they came back with displeased one apparition. The exchange was caught on camera:

Jon: Hey guys! What do ya say to some exercise?

Ghost: Boo!

Amanda: Oh, it’ll be fun.

Ghost: Moan.

Jon: Come on, let’s liven things up!

Ghost: Boooooo!

The Nelsons’ then sought to entice, or even trick, the ghosts into exercising. That’s when Jon turned to his old Nintendo Wii. “I just remembered the amount of sweat I’d work up boxing on that thing,” said Jon. “And hey, it’s video games, right? I’m mean they’re always fiddling with the TV anyway.”

The poltergeists are easier to get along with now that they have an activity to keep them occupied. Jon and Amanda can concentrate on settling in to their new home. They look forward to unpacking all of their clothing, just as soon as they remove the skeletons in their closet.



8 Responses to “Ghosts’ Spirit Risen With Exercise”

  1. Ned's Blog 10/25/2013 at 1:19 pm #

    It IS like having kids! I’d rather have the ghosts — they don’t leave dirty dishes behind.

    • grimmreport 10/25/2013 at 1:23 pm #

      Yeah, but whatever they eat still seems to go right through ’em.

      • Ned's Blog 10/25/2013 at 1:25 pm #

        Wait…are we talking about the ghosts or my kids? Eh, probably both.

  2. honeydidyouseethat? 10/26/2013 at 9:48 am #

    Ha! If i see any tonight on my ghost tour in Savannah, I’ll know what to do.

    • grimmreport 10/26/2013 at 10:03 am #

      Savannah, that’s the best place to be around Halloween.

  3. cat9984 10/26/2013 at 12:52 pm #

    Think it would work with my husband?

  4. rgdole 10/26/2013 at 2:48 pm #

    oh I love play on words… so awesome 😀

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