Hospitality With Goldilocks: The Djinn Palace

17 Feb

A Special Review By Grimm Report Chief Hospitality Correspondent, Goldilocks.
Transcribed from Goldilocks’s messy handwriting by Amy Good | @amicgood

For years, I’ve been reading the rave reviews given to the Djinn Palace – not only for its gourmet meals, but also for its musicals, and magic and acrobatic shows! Unfortunately, I could never find the right boyfriend to take me. They were all either too hot or too cold or too big or too small (if you know what I mean) or too wild or… well, my loyal readers get the idea. So when my firefighter boyfriend gave me a dozen roses and a handwritten invitation to the Djinn Palace on Valentine’s Day from Mr. Djinn himself, I knew I’d found Mr. Just Right!!

Readers, you won’t believe how nervous I was! It took me hours to pick the right sparkly dress and shoes. I adorned my beautiful golden locks with glittery butterflies and put on so much eye makeup it was a little difficult to blink! But it was all worth it!! Mr. Just Right whisked me away in a fancy limousine, treating me to champagne and caviar during the ride. What a gentleman. I felt like a princess – it was so much better than that time I stayed at Cinderella’s renovated pumpkin house!

Right away, the Djinn Palace makes you believe you’ve stepped into a faraway land! Apparently, Mr. Djinn bought out the surrounding businesses, turning the vacant lots into a sandy Moroccan wonderland complete with camels, flying carpets and snake charmers. And in the middle of all that sand… All I can say to my loyal readers is, “WOW!” It’s really the most impressive replica of the Taj Mahal that I’ve ever seen. Mr. Djinn spared absolutely no expense!!

From the moment we entered the Palace, we were surrounded by belly dancers, jugglers and sword swallowers. A magician even disappeared one of my butterfly clips from my gilded locks! I could barely believe it. As we wound our way toward our table, I spotted a team of other magicians doing card tricks and throwing out tiny fireworks displays into the air. What a crazy place!

Now usually, loyal readers, you can order anything imaginable from the Djinn Palace and Mr. Djinn’s staff will create it for you (gourmet-style) in their fabulous kitchens. But seeing as how we came for Valentine’s Day, Mr. Djinn had prepared a special menu of sexy, chocolate-infused dishes! Have any of you loyal readers ever had Mr. Djinn’s gourmet hot chocolate? Well, if you haven’t, get down to the Djinn Palace today because you will not be disappointed! And who knew Mr. Djinn could add chocolate to vodka, oysters, venison and cheese?! My taste buds were in love!!

Add to that the marvelous magic and acrobatic show going on all around us – the songs alone were to die for – and it was truly a magical evening!! We’d only just gotten our dessert (heavenly Red Velvet Chocolate Chip cookies and homemade Vanilla Ice Cream) when Mr. Just Right pulled a suspicious little box out of his pocket. My mouth hung open and I didn’t know what to say! Can you imagine that, loyal readers?!

Next thing I knew, Mr. Djinn grabs my firefighter boyfriend by the hand and pulls him into the magic show! Then Mr. Just Right disappeared into a cloud of blue smoke!!

But don’t worry, my loyal readers. Even though I had to take the limo back home all by myself, I know in my heart that Mr. Just Right will reappear on my doorstep any day now! And if he doesn’t, I’m sure I’ll be able to find him next time I accidentally set a building on fire. I’m not worried!

All in all, I give the Djinn Palace a magical five out of five stars for giving me a night I can’t ever forget!!



2 Responses to “Hospitality With Goldilocks: The Djinn Palace”

  1. deshipley 02/17/2014 at 2:02 pm #

    Nice to know your loved ones are just one bit of accidental arson away. X) And the Djinn Palace sounds like a wish come true. Thanks for keeping us updated, Goldie. (:

  2. idiotprufs 02/17/2014 at 2:18 pm #

    Adding arson to breaking and entering, interesting.

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