Neighborhood Association Wants to Silence Sirens

20 Feb
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A Special Report By Grimm Report Chief Musical Correspondent,
Jocelyn Koehler
http://teamblood.org | @jocelynk414

Last night, the Seagirt Meadows Neighborhood Association voted on an anti-siren resolution, citing concerns about both noise and the growing number of shipwrecks on the beachfront.

The sirens dwell on jagged rocks approximately 500 yards offshore, providing a unique but dangerous scenic feature for the posh seaside community.

“It costs money to keep hauling the broken sails and hulls away,” said the president of the association. “And I don’t even want to get into the unpleasantness with all the bones of lost mariners ending up in our kids’ sandcastles.”

Other residents who pushed for the ban say the sirens are an ongoing problem in the otherwise quiet area. “Yes, they sing beautifully,” said a resident who lives on Odysseus Drive, “but it goes on all the time! Woo-ooo-ooo-aaahhhh at two in the morning is not something working people need to hear.”

The resolution passed by a 24-13 vote. However, it is unclear how the ban will be enforced, since no one sent to discuss the issue with the sirens has ever returned.

Similarly, the sirens’ reaction to the news is not on record. The only correspondent who interviewed the sirens and returned to the office was an intern who wore headphones the whole time, and thus couldn’t hear the sirens’ side of the story.

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2 Responses to “Neighborhood Association Wants to Silence Sirens”

  1. rgdole 02/20/2014 at 10:21 pm #

    hey… why is there no like button?
    And sirens are cray cray… wouldn’t want them in my neighborhood either… course that’s why I would never live near the beach…

  2. Shelley 02/20/2014 at 11:30 pm #

    Yet another reason why people need to unplug. 🙂

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