Monkey’s Paws To Grant Fourth Wish

23 Feb

WASHINGTON, D.C.–In his weekly address, President Obama continued his push to increase the minimum amount of wishes granted by magical entities from three wishes, to four. He explained his decision to sign an executive order directing all leprechauns working within the Treasury Department to offer up a fourth wish upon capture beginning in March. The directive is not without controversy, as requesting a fourth wish from a leprechaun typically invalidates the previous three.

The President then went on to tout that the CEO of talisman manufacturer Monkey’s Paw has made it a priority to include a fourth wish with all of the company’s new products. This announcement is drawing criticism from the financial sector because Monkey’s Paws operate at a tremendous expense to others. The administration has responded by saying that Wall Street has made it’s wealth off the misfortune of the middle class for long enough. It’s time that Main Street gets to play by the same rules.



10 Responses to “Monkey’s Paws To Grant Fourth Wish”

  1. rgdole 02/23/2014 at 11:57 pm #

    okay… I finally figured out a wish I think would be problem free… I’d wish for a Doctor Who sonic screwdriver… I mean how awesome would it be to have one of those… and what harm could come from it?

    • grimmreport 02/24/2014 at 2:51 pm #

      Being that it sounds as if it’s both for teeth cleaning and construction, I’d say there is ample opportunity for harm. But have at it.

      • rgdole 02/24/2014 at 3:04 pm #

        are you telling me you don’t know about Doctor Who’s sonic screwdriver? you live a sad life…

  2. Realtor McKinney TX 02/24/2014 at 7:09 am #

    good work

  3. deshipley 02/24/2014 at 12:54 pm #

    I know wishing for more wishes for oneself is a no-no, but what about wishing for more wishes for others? Is that a loophole?

    • grimmreport 02/24/2014 at 2:49 pm #

      All wishes are non transferable and non refundable.

      • deshipley 02/24/2014 at 2:56 pm #

        Don’t it just figure.

  4. Erika Beebe 02/24/2014 at 3:23 pm #

    To heck with wishes for me. I just want to slide down the rainbow with a leprechaun 🙂

    • grimmreport 02/25/2014 at 9:05 pm #

      To where problems melt like lemon drops, high above the chimney tops…

      • Erika Beebe 02/26/2014 at 11:41 am #

        Exactly. That’s where you’ll find me. :o) Thanks for this awesome post.

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