President Obama Laments Congressional Hostility Toward Ogres

13 Mar

WASHINGTON, D.C.–In a speech given at a D.C. area wizarding school, President Obama lamented recent congressional action taken to remove Ogres from swamplands in the Florida Everglades. Obama stated, “I wish some folks in Congress use the gavel more, and less pitchfork.”

Speaker John Boehner issued a written response, “The ogres in question had settled on Federal lands. There was not anything legislation would accomplish that you couldn’t do with some pitchforks, torches, and an angry mob.”

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2 Responses to “President Obama Laments Congressional Hostility Toward Ogres”

  1. idiotprufs 03/13/2014 at 11:34 am #

    You can accomplish a great deal with pitchforks and torches.

    • grimmreport 03/13/2014 at 2:16 pm #

      Fun Fact: a pitchfork is also a useful tool in gardening.

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