No Joy in Mudville as Star is Caught in Controversy

6 May

A Special Report By Grimm Report Chief Pinch-Hitting Correspondent,
Jocelyn Koehler | @jocelynk414

Following a disappointing game in which the plucky Mudville Nine fell to the opposing team, 4-2, ugly rumors are flying. The mighty Casey was last to bat, and was widely expected to restore the fortunes of the team. Both Flynn and Blake were on base—a surprising situation, considering both players’ abysmal performances in recent games.

So why did Casey disdain to even swing at the first two pitches? And why did Casey leave the offices of well-known bookie Freddie Doyle directly after the game?

“He threw the game,” declared one angry fan. “I wore my lucky socks, my lucky Mudville jersey, my lucky shoestring, and my reverse-the-evil-eye pocket watch. I even did the rally cap,” he finished, yanking off the inside out baseball hat and angrily punching it back to normal. “There’s just no way Mudville could lose with all that luck. Casey sold us out.”

The normally calm and affable star denied the rumors from his newly upgraded suite at the downtown hotel. After eating a steak dinner and drinking the hotel’s most expensive bottle of wine, Casey refuted all allegations that he made money off the unexpected loss, saying, “What, do I look like Pete Rose?”

When he was reminded that this was 1888 and no one would catch the reference, Casey shrugged. “Whatever. My point stands. I would never, ever bet against my own team. Even if the odds were real good. Like 300:1 good.”

“I’m hurt that anyone would suggest such a thing,” he said, sniffling. He was then reminded that there’s no crying in baseball.

“Now who’s making anachronistic references?” asked Casey. He then dabbed at his eyes with a hundred dollar bill.



3 Responses to “No Joy in Mudville as Star is Caught in Controversy”

  1. MiscElaineOusMuSings 05/06/2014 at 7:48 am #

    Brilliantly funny!!

  2. hmills96 05/06/2014 at 8:54 am #

    Reblogged this on As I Lay Reading and commented:
    Since I posted Casey at Bat during National Poetry Month, I thought I’d share this spoof of the poem. The dig on Reds’ Pete Rose is a little low…albeit maybe well placed. Hope you enjoy this!

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