Riding Hood’s Grandmother Reveals Identity as Bestselling Author

24 Jun
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Above: Portrait of the author and her granddaughter

A Special Report By Grimm Report Chief Culinary Correspondent,
Sarah Brentyn
rantsaboutparenting.blogspot.com |
@SarahBrentyn

RABBIT HASH, KY–Years after the alleged attack on Red Riding Hood’s grandmother, Hazel, the now legendary grandma reveals her identity as the bestselling author, Kale E. Pepper.

“First,” Hazel said, “let’s get this out of the way as I know you’re going to ask. The wolf never ate anyone. In fact, he was quite the gentleman. He had lost his way and needed directions to the barber shop. Red sent him to the local ice cream parlor. That girl couldn’t find her way out of a cardboard box.” The wolf then ended up at Hazel’s house after being assaulted by a group of school children who threw ice cream cones and popsicles at the poor beast. When asked if she still keeps in touch with the wolf, Hazel answered, “I don’t think he’s around here anymore.”

“But this,” she walked into her kitchen, “is why I called you.” After brushing some fur off her counter, she showed us a collection of bestselling cookbooks such as Guide to Grilling Wild Game and Savory Large Game: Salads and Side Dishes which she wrote under her pseudonym. “They are selling very well.” Indeed they are. Her informative new how-to guide, Find it Fresh, Fry it Up, just hit # 2 on the New York Times bestseller list.

“This one,” she picked up her book entitled Look What’s Coming to Dinner “has been in the top ten for three months,” she said proudly. “Fresh ingredients. That’s the key.”

We declined Hazel’s invitation to stay for supper.

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One Response to “Riding Hood’s Grandmother Reveals Identity as Bestselling Author”

  1. Opa Curow 06/25/2014 at 9:53 pm #

    Wolves never die. They just howl away.
    Opa

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