Snow White Leaves Seven Dwarves On Short Notice

15 Jan

A Special Report By Grimm Report Chief Girl Power Correspondent,
Allison Christie | @allisonsarah16

Snow White has abruptly left her seven roommates, having grown exhausted of her living arrangement. Ms. White explains, “I was sat enjoying my first champagne breakfast of the new year when the parlour door flew open and in stomped Grumpy. ‘Ha make me a full English,’ he snapped without even a smile. I stared after him in disbelief but after countless hours of domestic slavery, I found myself rising to my feet and heading towards the kitchen, almost as if I was brainwashed.”

Ms. White continued, “Whilst I was stood over the stove shaking his sizzling sausages, Grumpy called, ‘Whilst you’re at it, Love, I’d kill for a runny egg. Ooow, and some of your special crispy bacon, but be careful not to burn it.’ And I thought to myself, I shouldn’t have to cook and clean for room and board. I was educated by Royal Scholars. I have a resume. It’s time for Girl Power!”

Ms. White then pulled on her coat and walked out the door with no regrets. “I knew I had made the right choice when the Dwarves’ desperate calls followed me out. ‘Snowy, polish my boots. Snowy, my pillow needs pluming. Snowy, I can smell burning… Snowy, I think my bacon is burning…Snowy?!'”



4 Responses to “Snow White Leaves Seven Dwarves On Short Notice”

  1. rgdole 01/16/2014 at 12:53 pm #

    GIRL POWER!!! good… I always though it was a little messed up that she did everything for them… I mean it’s one thing to be a good roommate and help out… it’s another when you’re the only roommate doing anything…

  2. Laura 01/17/2014 at 9:20 am #

    Reblogged this on Skipping Midnight and commented:
    The Grimm Report is always a fantastic source of amusement–especially if you’re in the fairy tale mindset. Here is a fantastic little piece by Allison Christie reimagining what it was REALLY like for Snow White to live with seven quirky men with dubious manners.

  3. Elaine 03/07/2014 at 8:02 pm #

    Good for you Miss White! Loved this, can’t wait to read more.


  1. The Grimm Report Is Now On YouTube! | The Grimm Report - 01/23/2014

    […] offering is a quick review of a report submitted by Grimm Report Correspondent, Allison Christie, Snow White Leaves Seven Dwarves On Short Notice. […]

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